Saturday, 28 February 2015

The beating hip: Part 2

Part 1 

Migraines, I first noticed in my university days. It normally started, with what felt like a little thump in my brain, followed by a minute blind spot that grew into a rainbow like kaleidoscope of blurriness, which would eventually cover 90% of my vision. 

This aura, would take about thirty minutes to reach full bloom, before it would fade away in about another half an hour.

I recall one particular day when I was at a local beach with some university friends, after finishing the final exams of the year.

It suddenly hit. It was hot and I thought I must be getting a stroke. The heat and the light were overwhelming and drove me into repeatedly vomiting.

What a nice after exam party, and not having even taken one sip of wine or enjoying any views of lovely bodies. Just straight to the hangover. Lovely!

When I think back now, I realise that I normally got migraines after the stress periods were over. Never during.

My body probably produces enough sustenance, hormones, energy etc. to carry me through the tough periods, but does not know how to recover afterwards. 

When the stress is gone, to get rid of these sustaining elements perhaps leads to a breakdown. As if the sewerage passages are suddenly clogged, overflows and sends some sort of overload to my brain, which just shuts down everything before it can reboot again.

I need to learn how to calm down slowly after a stress period.

After the aura, the numbing would start; it would tingle, many a times first on the one side of my lips then rush down like warm molten electricity tearing down my shoulder, arm and follow down my leg.

Always only one side until it at times cover my whole one side. Like an expanding lava flow of hot pressure, rising, tearing and burning. This would last about forty minutes. 

Nausea would start setting in during this period plus the dulling, thumping pain in the one side and over my eyes. 

Coupled to this adventure, my logic, speech and coordination is usually affected and my talking would be slurred and thoughts seem to flow in a more fuzzy undirected way.

During university days I had no medication for this. Which meant, eventually I would vomit and have splitting pain for the next 24 hours.

However this migraine was bit faster. The creepy aura, sparkling kaleidoscope of broken colours 
spread faster than before, blocking my vision in a few minutes instead of the usual thirty minutes.

Making me dread the traveling numbness that would erupt and tear down my side and this coupled with the existing hip pain, made me panic.

I have been on Diclofenac, so the governor calls the doctor to know if its ok to mix it with triptan.

Triptan I discovered a years back. It normally does not remove the aura, nor the traveling numbness, but the splitting headache and nausea is lessoned and within two hours I am mostly operational.

Beside the one side of the brain that feels loose and the false sense of being okness.

The advantage of a migraine is only evident when it’s over, I get a happy spurt, probably a serotonin flush and I feel very emotionally happy for a few hours. 

During this period my family find me rather adorable like a big fat teddy bear, because I don't seem to be as fast paced as normal in my reactions or speech.

Yes, says the doctor, but only one. 

I took one Triptan.

It was a very bad idea.

Part 3 coming soon

Wednesday, 18 February 2015

The beating hip: Part 1

I spent a long time, as usual, on the toilet, my place of peace and solitude.

Nobody disturbs me there. I have my secret smelly weapon, shielding any entrances from the pesky girls, who at times won’t give me my time, even on the pot, when,  they walk in, shouting and ordering me to do this or that etc.

But this sit was different. 

Something in my hip started to pinch and when I got out of the toilet. I felt a sharp shooting pain down the outside of my right hip to my knee when I put any weight on my leg.

I tried to wobble it out and ignored it and when I lay down it hurt less.

That was Saturday, Day 1.

Sunday I had to teach a BJJ class and noticed an increasing pain as I demonstrated techniques to the class. 

However, as I warmed up, the endorphins dulled the pain, such that I attempted to roll once with a student, just to give my ego a little boost.

Normally the movement of BJJ helps my neck, but this was different, in all positions my hip would hurt even through the endorphins.

Monday I realised what a bad idea it was to have rolled.

No movement was possible without excruciating pain and to do a work out till the endorphins came, was not possible. 

Stabbing burning, pinching, hurting all the way to the soul of my knee and spiking till the foot. Even walking was no longer possible.

I called the doctor and got some Diclofenac 75mg tablets.

I could then move again, at a snail’s pace. What a relief!

But it was not gone. By Thursday it was driving me insane, the continuous agony.

The hip pain was beating my continuous neck pain. Bloody misery was extended.

It will get worse, says Murphy, and so it did.

Bob Marley, “You need a small axe to chop down big tree”.

Pain chops down the spirit of the strongest man; my body is now torturing itself. Even revealing the secrets won’t stop the torture, since I already know the answers.

So I am appealing to the axe secrets within, the prize is coming....
The victory will be…

The washing is polluting the changing room, and this body has no energy for that.

Even the nagging chat I had with my girls about the amazing house I run cannot motivate past my pain to clear that washing.

The governor then gets home from work and we end up having a debate about something I can’t recall now.

She is so smart. So fast, so correct, so logical, my pained brained logic loses and my mind is stressed, which triggers a migraine. 

Sunday, 8 February 2015

Mutating to Houseman


1 Hour and 2 minutes to fold the washing.

Multipurpose training room, this use was never foreseen.

Folding clothes.

The modern world.

Working Man is mutating.

I am the future.

Well, most things bore me. At least this way I can do something to help my family.

Then I feel I did something worthwhile. 

I used to design safety and control equipment for nuclear power stations. 

There, I never felt I did something worthwhile and it was boring. 

Was just some way to make sure our company made a profit. 

I think god broke my neck so I can do something I find useful. 

Being smart has made most things I do boring.

Most people stress and probably can never do certain things I have done, yet to me most things are just too easy and soon bore me.

I don't know all things, I just know quickly enough what will bore more.

Basics like caring for my family, cooking, cleaning and teaching them martial arts to protect themselves, makes me feel I did something useful for the day especially, since my wife has to work now because I can't find any suitable paying job.

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