We plan to move to place where I might have to meet more people socially.
This gives me anxiety, not that I fear people, it’s more that I don’tunderstand them and tend to make them feel uncomfortable in my attempts to understand what they are doing and why.
The result is that both parties end up frustrated and the people leave feeling drained and uncomfortable to put it mildly.
Where I now live I seldom meet people socially in real life, besides in my sports training.
I seldom need more social interaction with people. Hence, I meet people once on a good year socially, but mostly less. This includes all family contact as well with parents, siblings in-laws etc.
I am satisfied with with being social with my wife, kids, sports and training.
However now that we might move to an area with more possible social contact, I start to get anxious, especially since this morning I again had a chat on the web with a person and could not understand their logic.
I at times chat with people on the net. This I prefer, since I see it as an extension on my mind, where I can bounce my ideas off other people without the need to interact or make as if I am listening in the present. I tend to drift when people share events with me and with chatting I can read when want and reply when I want.
This morning’s chat went like this.
A woman complains to me that her mother in-law treated her badly.
I ask, “what did your mom in-law do that make you say this.”
She says, “She just disliked that I took her son away and made my life a living hell.”
So I ask, “How did she make it a living hell.”
She says, “She is dead now and wants her soul to rest in peace so wants to leave the past in the past.”
I say, “If you wanted her soul to rest in peace why complain about the past and bad mouth her that she made your life hell? This is in itself is bad mouthing, since you refuse to give an example to justify your case.”
The woman did not respond and I could sense the uncomfortable vibes even over the internet.
Yet again I did not understand the logic. Does she expect me to believe that her mom in-law was a monster just based on her word without giving an example and why complain to me anyway?
Was she just looking for someone to nag with and bad mouth another person?
To me this makes no sense since I can’t judge who was the monster and just wanted more info and she did not want to share.
So why start complaining to me anyway?
I will have to ask my wife to explain. Since as soon as I will be interacting with people in our new
place of living, many of these disagreements will be happening, since mostly I do not understand the logic of most people and I can’t always have my wife explaining why they did what they did.