Wednesday, 25 June 2014

The Dance

The Husband, is at a party with his friends. Dancing, talking and socialising for fun and leisure. It is what they have always done. It is what he did with his wife. It is the covering of the danger waiting to emerge. 

On this occasion his wife was visiting family out of town. His trusted soul mate of many years, was not with to enjoy this party with him.

The charmer, the friendly man is enjoying the party of friends.

As is usual in most places friends talk and when his wife returns they surely informed her of the events of the party.

As it is with so many folk who live under the idea of perfect happiness, without conflict, they revert to the thing they have always done in cases of conflict. They run, they hide from facing the pending crisis; they don’t talk to those who they should talk to. They run to those who they think they can trust, where they think they are safe.

She ran to her parents who prevented them from talking. The Fact, is The Husband, did not have sex with the other women. Not even a kiss. It was just the normal socialising and dancing, that they as a couple have done on so many occasions before. 

Who knows why the message was interpreted like that? Could it be that the hormones of a newly pregnant woman was causing her sense of reasoning to fade and letting her emotions push away any chance of seeing the facts? Or was it the allegiance to those she trusted even more, the parents, who carelessly prevented a possible reunion by acting on the assumed danger, opening the door for the ripples that grew into chaos.

Her parents did not follow basic guidelines of conflict handling, basic knowledge so lacking in most families, since people would rather prefer to live in perfect worlds and run from the unknown unhappiness of learning how to deal with conflicts. They much rather prefer to think, “We don’t need to learn about conflicts, we know it all and we never have any conflict anyway.” 

The chaos will follow and stalk like ever following shadows.

It is on this note that his wife left. Not a word was spoken between them. All access to any talk were blocked. The Husband became confused, in rage, in unhappiness.

The Husband, who was taken out of school when he was 13 years old. He was the smartest kid in the class. He was the talented young boy. His talents then used to work, to take care of his mother, sickly father and the other siblings. Breeders, making more children, after they forcefully removed the talented child from school to feed the family. To feed even more babies. The ignorance of the time or is it the ignorance of people?

13 years old and working to support a growing family. The older brother was of greater use to his gangster friends. 

The husband at 25 years old, with the lost childhood is confused, angry, sad, unhappy and desperate yet again.

Running to his soul mate and being blocked by her and her parents. The same woman who eased his pain in the past now ignorantly accusing him.

Ridiculed and tossed aside. Worst of all his soul mate denying him the chance to give his evidence. “I will find other happiness.” says The Husband. The Husband of hope.

He found it over and over again. Short lived happiness and contentment. Always striving to do the correct thing and yet the chaos was growing.

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